


If you like

by notcrazyipromise



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Based on a song, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, a little bit of AU, careers not mentioned, mentions of cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-03-01 22:17:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13304460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notcrazyipromise/pseuds/notcrazyipromise
Summary: Dan is tired of his and Phil's long-lasting marriage and looks for something new.





	If you like

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on the song Escape (commonly known as the Piña Colada song) by Rupert Holmes. Events in this story are purely fictional. I do not own Dan, Phil, or the Piña Colada song.

      Dan was tired of his marriage. He didn’t particularly dislike Phil, but they’d been together for—what was it now? Eighteen years?—and it was just boring sometimes. He never felt the thrill of excitement, or experimented in bed, or went anywhere new. Every day with Phil was routine, a generally benign lake of nothing much. Phil was nice, sure, but eighteen years had softened his appeal quite a bit, and Dan wasn’t into him as much as he was a decade ago.

     This feeling of discontent had risen up over a long period of time, about a year, when he noticed that he could predict his life more accurately than he could predict a chess move. He knew what Phil was going to say before he said it, and though it seemed funny and endearing at first, he began to grow tired of knowing Phil. Phil secretly prided himself on being interesting and spontaneous, but as time stretched on, Dan began to doubt it. The same went with Phil and Dan. Phil would act before Dan even finished the first word in a sentence and Dan found it gradually more and more annoying that he could never fully express his wants around Phil. It irritated him only more when Phil got it right time and time again.

     So Dan thought it only natural that he look for some change. He didn’t consider that he was awfully lucky to have found a long-lasting partner as fitting for him as Phil. He didn’t really consider Phil’s feelings if he found out, and he decided that Phil really didn’t need to know unless Dan felt ready to call their marriage off completely.

     It was midnight and Phil was asleep right next to him when Dan acted on his resolve and made a Tinder account, setting his relationship status as single and neglecting to add photos. He swiped through dozens of profiles before one caught his eye. The “about me” read:

     “If you like trying lots of food and running around the world, being lazy at home, and if you love music, if you like having interesting sex, if you like people that understand you, message me because we’ll definitely hit it off.”

     Dan didn’t hesitate before clicking the message button. He thought for a while before writing in the same half-poetic half-immature style:

     “If you like pizza, stay inside for long periods of time, don’t exercise, have half a brain, then I relate and we would definitely be compatible. If you’re looking for a sexually adventurous and interesting time in bed, I look forward to meeting you tomorrow noon at a restaurant called Nando’s.”

     The next day Dan pretended to not be nervous, but he couldn’t really pass it off. He woke up and ate breakfast like normal, but the butterflies beginning to emerge in his stomach fought the cereal and Dan felt a bit excited-nauseous. He did some work and answered emails while he forced himself not to look at Phil with a guilty expression. When it was eleven thirty, he couldn’t take it anymore and went to his room to change and head out to Nando’s.

     It was early when he arrived and he sat nervously at an empty table for two. He fiddled with his phone with a bit and politely declined when a waiter came to take his order. He heard bells chime as the front door opened, and his head snapped up to see a surprisingly familiar figure.

     It was Phil, he knew, with a glance at the curve of his face, his awkward walk, and the way his hands nervously tucked into his pockets. Suddenly Dan remembered, at the sight of Phil in an unfamiliar situation, just how much he cared for him. Dan felt stupid for even thinking about being with another man. He laughed with relief and went to hug Phil, his surprise melting away as Phil made sheepish eye contact with him.

      “Oh,” Phil breathed out shakily, “it’s you.”

      Dan laughed and shook his head fondly at Phil, still embracing the man tightly. He let go of him and led him to the table.

      “I never knew,” Dan said, “that you liked trying new food, and running around the world, and being lazy at home, and that you liked interesting sex.”

     Phil smiled and lowered his head slightly, “I never told you, I guess. But you never told me you like staying inside and having kinky sex, either.”

     Dan laughed, hiding his head in his hands.

     “I was too afraid to tell you, Phil.”

     Phil smiled and kissed Dan on the cheek.

     “Well, now I know.”


End file.
